Habitual Liar? Or Something Worse?
Okay, well honestly, this is quite embaressing. Okay, Im 14 years old and though it's really not that old, believe me, I can hold up conversations.
Alright, so my question is, what's wrong with me?? See, I've looked all around and the most I can find myself diagnosed as, is a habitiual liar. You see, ever since I was little I had the problem of lying. And I know that it's often for kids to lie but it's only gotten worse.
For instance, when I was in the first grade my teacher had the kids gather in a circle and tell us some news. I told them that my brother (who's 3 years older then me) killed my cat. My cat was non exsistant and my brother never did. Appalled, my teacher had me go to my brother\'s class and bring him to my own where she asked if it was true. Of course, he told her it wasn't.
Then, about a year ago, I told an ex boyfriend that I was raped by my father when I was 9 and later told him that my father changed my birth certificate to make me a year older, so in fact my dad 'raped' me when i was '8'.
Even before that I'd tell people that my mother treated me horribly and that I swore she hated me and called me horrid names. In all honesty, my mother is an angel.
Even now, I told my current boyfriend that my ex boyfriend abused me. That he forced me to do sexual things to him and that the reason i broke up with him was because of all the abuse.
I even told a friend I had like...5 other names (like, middle names and such). I told stories about things that had happened in Colombia, SA when I've gone (and nothing really happened) and such.
I admit, I enjoy the attention and the empathy they all give off. I love feeling vulnerable and in another sense I don't. That's another problem I know I have. I give myself fake characteristics and to different people. Like, one group of my friends may think that i'm shy and quiet, another group might think of me as moody, over controling, and another group of friends thought of me as the go to girl.
What I feel is even stranger is that in the fifth grade I stole three poems from a friend in one town and showed them to a group of my friends in my town, telling them that I wrote it (In grade school I was horrible at writing) and now, writing is my passion (yes, MY passion).
And finally, I tell people that I\'ve always been a straight A student, in fact only in 7th grade did I start getting higher grades and still, im not all straight As. (by the way, im in 10 grade).
I've tried talking to a hospital shrink that goes to my school but I end up lying about things even more. Whenever I want to tell her my problems, I feel ashamed for being what everyone knows I hate. Please help me...
Often I ask myself why I do this and though I wish it'd make me stop it never did.
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